Your Child's Development (Ages 2 to 4)

• Physical Development
• Social & Emotional Development
• Speech & Language Development
• What to Expect When

12 Month Old's Development

Taking his first steps
That major rite of passage is almost here, if it hasn't happened already — sometime this month your baby may take his first steps alone. (If he doesn't, don't worry — it takes some babies several more weeks or months to become a toddler.) If he's like most children, your baby will take those early strides on tiptoe with his feet turned outward; keep the camera ready! He may also begin feeding himself with a spoon this month, though his aim won't be the best.

New kinds of play
Around now your baby's play will probably start shifting from mastering his fine motor skills (he's got that thumb-and-forefinger grasp down pat) to exercising larger muscles. Some children this age have an attention span of two to five minutes for quiet activities — though your baby's favorite games may not be all that quiet.

Your baby probably thinks it's fun to push, throw, and knock everything down. He'll give you a toy as well as take one, and he likes games where he can put things in containers and dump them out again. This works well with blocks in buckets or boxes and with pots and pans, which he can nest inside one another. He'll thrill to the loud sounds of those pots and pans banging together, too.

Making bedtime easier
Naptime is one of the small luxuries of caring for a baby, especially if you use the downtime to rest and recharge yourself. But as your baby approaches his first birthday, he may begin to resist taking naps. Not only that — his growing independence may lead him to make a fuss at bedtime, too.

Following a well-established nighttime routine, which might include a bath or a bedtime story, for example, may help settle him to sleep. It's a good idea to consistently "sequence" your baby toward slumber: Feed him, give him a bath, put him in his pajamas, play a game, read him a book, sing songs or play some music, then put him down. Most sleep experts suggest that you always put your baby to bed while he's still awake. This will help him learn to fall asleep on his own, a skill that will come in handy for you both when he wakes in the wee hours. Whatever you do, make bedtime a regular routine, one that gives you and your baby plenty of time to connect and wind down. You may elect to alternate activities with your spouse (you do the bath, he reads the story, and so on) each night. Or, to give both of you a break several times a week, try switching off nights when you're responsible for putting the baby to bed.

It's hard to say good-bye
Your child has probably been wrestling with bouts of separation anxiety during the last several months. This is natural: He loves and depends on you, so he's distressed when you leave. To ease departures, ask your sitter to arrive early so your baby has time to adjust. Be matter-of-fact when you leave, and don't prolong the agony with extended good-byes; make it quick, with just one goodnight kiss. Your baby's tears will subside soon after you're out of sight.

You can help your child feel more independent by not hovering over him all the time. Of course, he still needs to know you're around and dependable. So if he toddles to another room, wait a couple of minutes before following. If you go to another area of the house, call to him when you're in the next room — but don't come running every time he squawks.

Learning more about language
Though at this point his vocabulary probably consists of only a couple of words besides "mama" and "dada," your one-year-olds can probably babble short, fully inflected sentences that sound like he's speaking a foreign language.

By now, your baby may also be able to respond to simple questions and commands, especially if you give him some clues with hand gestures. For example, ask "Where's your mouth?" and point to it. Or try "Hand me the cup" and point to the object. Your baby may even answer you in his own way, using his own gestures, such as shaking his head for "no."

Because he's receptive now, it's a good time to begin to teach him manners and how to help out. Emphasize "please" and "thank you," and make toy cleanup time fun by turning it into a game. Though he probably won't get the idea just yet, it's not too early to start.

Name that item
It's up to you to help your baby make connections between objects and their names — the more you do, the faster your child's vocabulary will grow. Keep talking to your baby and labeling things. Count stair steps as you climb them, and point out the names and colors of the fruits and vegetables at the grocery store. Read your baby a picture book and ask him to point to or name familiar objects. Solicit his opinion once in a while: Ask him if he'd like to wear the red or the blue socks, or if he'd like to play with his blocks or his stacking rings. He may not answer, but then again, he may surprise you.

11 Month Old's Development

Growing physical independence
Only one month shy of his first birthday, your baby is no longer a helpless infant who can't do anything without you. He still needs plenty of care and support, but his growing independence — evident in his solo standing, stooping, and squatting — is becoming apparent. He may walk while gripping your hand, and he'll hold out his arm or leg to help you dress him. At mealtimes, he may be able to grip a cup and drink from it independently (though some children may not do this for a few more months) and hand-feed himself an entire meal.

Of course, once your child is able to drink from a cup by himself, you may need to start ducking, because he's just as likely to toss it when he's finished as he is to put it down gently. He'll also purposely drop objects for someone, probably you, to pick up.

Very Easy Readers
Your child likes to look at books and leaf through the pages, though he won't always turn them one by one. Indulge in great picture books, like Anno's Flea Market, by the great Japanese artist Mitsumasa Anno, Is It Red? Is It Yellow? Is It Blue?, which introduces primary colors through photos of everyday objects, and The Snowman, a full-color cartoon book about a snowman who comes to life.

Becoming his own person
Your baby may now assert himself among his siblings and begin to engage in parallel play — contentedly playing alongside (but not with) another child. He may also have designated a favorite blanket or stuffed animal as a security object.

Time to start setting limits
Your baby now understands simple instructions, though he may purposely choose to ignore you when you say "no." (To help the word carry a little more weight, use it sparingly, for setting important limits.) But even though your baby may not always remember tomorrow what you've said today, it's not too soon to set certain boundaries and start teaching him some important distinctions, like right from wrong and safe from unsafe.

Use your best judgement as a guideline. You're not being mean if you don't let him devour a second cupcake, for example; you're setting healthy limits. If he pulls kitty's tail, move his hand, look him in the eye, and say, "No, that hurts the cat." Then guide your child's hand to pet the animal gently. His desire to explore is stronger than his desire to listen to your warnings, so it's up to you to protect and teach him. What seems to be defiance isn't; it's just his natural curiosity to see how the world works.

Talking up a storm
Words and word-like sounds are now spilling out of your baby — and he's able to use them meaningfully. As the frontal lobes of his brain continue to develop, so does his ability to reason and speak. Encourage his interest in language and his understanding of two-way communication by being an avid listener and responding to his sounds. To polish his memory skills, play games like patty-cake and peek-a-boo with him.

At this age, your baby can probably imitate word sounds and inflections, as well as actions. He may be able to follow simple one-step directions, such as "Please bring me the ball" or "Pick up the spoon." Help him learn by separating multi-step commands into easy-to-follow steps.

Cherish this brief but remarkable period when your baby's communication skills are emerging: They're perhaps his most important skill.

10 Month Old's Development

More Mobility
By the time he's 10 months old, your baby will probably be able to crawl well on his hands and knees, with his trunk parallel to the floor. (Many babies begin trying to crawl before 10 months, but master the skill only now.) He may even be able to crawl up stairs. At this age, your baby can also sit confidently and may even walk while holding onto furniture, possibly letting go momentarily and standing without support. He'll take steps when held in a walking position and may attempt to scoop up a toy while he's standing, too. Those magical first steps toward independence — and lots more exercise for you! — are just around the corner.

Fingering
Your baby's fingers are becoming more agile. Using his pincer grasp, he may be able to pick up a piece of cereal or other small object without having to rest his wrist on a solid surface. (Now that your child has graduated to solid foods, expect plenty of cereal underfoot!) He's intrigued by tiny things and is still likely to taste-test them. This is fine as long as they're edible and not so small that he could choke on them. A good rule of thumb is to avoid letting your child have anything that won't dissolve in water, like a peanut.

Blooming personality
Your baby's personality is really emerging now. He may be very social, granting broad smiles to everyone he meets, or a little more reticent, shyly hiding his face when well-meaning strangers try to engage him. He'll repeat sounds, gesture for your attention, and may even wave goodbye when he sees you head for the door. He's also developing a mind of his own, which you may run up against when you try to put him in his car seat or stroller.

Handling your baby's fears
There will be times when your child is afraid of things he can't understand. He may even be frightened by things that didn't formerly bother him, like a ringing doorbell or a whistling teakettle. When this happens, the most important thing you can do as a parent is comfort and reassure him; tell him that you're there and he's fine.

Talking to your chatterbox
Your baby is just beginning to understand many simple words and phrases, so it's more important than ever to keep talking to him. Give your chatterbox a head start on good speech patterns by repeating his words back to him using adult language. If he asks for a "bah-bah," for example, gently reinforce the correct pronunciation by asking, "Do you want a bottle?" At this stage of the game, it's best to try to avoid the tendency to use baby talk — it's fun, but hearing the right words is better for your baby's development.

Though it may sometimes feel silly, having conversations with your baby is a great way to encourage his language skills. When he rattles off a sentence of gibberish, respond with "Oh, really? How interesting." He'll probably smile and keep chattering away. Soon you may notice some words or gestures you actually understand, as well as other forms of communication, such as pointing and grunting.

Give your baby a play-by-play description of what you're doing — whether you're dicing onions for dinner or folding the laundry. As you put him in his stroller, say, "There you go, into your blue stroller. Now, let's buckle you in and get you comfortable. Okay, we're off to the park." You can also sing nursery rhymes, demonstrate actions that go with words (saying "bye-bye" and waving, for instance), and play games, such as patty-cake or ring-around-the-rosy, so he learns to identify key words and phrases.

He'll soon start to make the connections. Before long, he'll be clapping his hands together when you do and may begin to say "Mama" when he's looking at mom and "Dada" when dad comes into the room (though at this point he's still more likely to use the two names indiscriminately).

Is my baby developing normally?
Remember, each baby is unique and meets physical milestones at his own pace. These skills are simply a guide to what your baby has the potential to accomplish — if not right now, then shortly.If your baby was born prematurely, you'll probably find that he needs just a bit longer before he can do the same things as other children his age. Don't worry. Most doctors assess a preterm child's development from the time he should have been born and evaluate his skills accordingly.

9 Month Old's Development

Almost walking
Your baby is getting closer and closer to full-fledged walking. At this age he can probably crawl up stairs and cruise, moving around upright while holding onto furniture. A few 9-month-olds may even take a couple of steps. Your baby is also learning how to bend his knees and how to sit after standing (which is harder to master than you might think!).

There are ways to help your baby with his walking efforts. Stand or kneel in front of him, and help him walk toward you by holding both his hands. Eventually just hold your hands out to him in encouragement. Some babies enjoy pushing a toddle truck, which provides both support and mobility (look for one that's stable, with a wide base).

Childproofing your home is a necessity now. One good place to start is to put latches on the doors of off-limits cabinets — babies inevitably make a beeline for such things.

Shoes? Not yet
Once your baby starts standing and cruising, you may wonder if shoes are necessary. Until your baby is walking around outdoors regularly, most pediatricians and development experts don't think so. Going barefoot can help strengthen your child's arches and leg muscles, and feeling the textures of what he's walking on can help him balance.

Playing and learning
Your baby can now put objects in a container and remove them. Give him a plastic bucket and some colorful blocks (make sure they're not so small he can swallow them) so he can practice this new skill. He also likes toys with moving parts, such as wheels, levers, or doors that open and close. Big plastic cars that your baby can roll around on the floor are fun playthings, too.

If you take a toy away from him, your increasingly assertive baby is likely to object. He's really starting to be able to make his needs and wants known.

About half of all 9-month-olds will initiate passing games — giving away objects and then taking them back. Be his playmate. Try rolling a ball to your baby and see if he rolls it back to you. Give him a sorting toy or stacking rings and see if he sorts or stacks or hands the pieces to you.

Coping with separation


Now, and for the next few months, separation anxiety is at its peak. Although it's normal for a 9-month-old to show an extreme attachment to you and fear of everyone else, it can be difficult for doting grandparents and caregivers. You can help ease the transition for your child by warning people to approach slowly and let your baby make the first move. If your child uses a thumb or pacifier to soothe himself as he tries to cope with his anxiety, that's okay. Sucking is one of your baby's only methods of calming himself.

Trying to travel
Because of separation anxiety, this can be a tough time to be away from your baby for any length of time. But this can also be a tough age to travel with your baby. Your child likes predictability, and traveling may disturb his routines. If you do travel with him in tow, be prepared for some cranky, clingy behavior. Have plenty of distractions ready — picture books, noise-making toys, and, most important, his security object. If he still uses a pacifier, it's wise to bring along a handful; they seem to vanish just when you need them most.

Language comprehension
The torrent of words your child has been hearing since birth is beginning to work its magic. By now, your baby's understanding of words far outpaces his ability to use them. His babbling is probably starting to sound more like real words, including "ma" and "da." (But don't get too excited just yet — these are more than likely not actual words but a couple of the many sounds he babbles constantly.)

At this stage, your child still comprehends more from your tone than from your actual words. The more you talk to him — while preparing dinner, driving, or getting dressed — the more your baby learns about communication. In fact, one study found that the greatest predictor of later intelligence is how many words a child hears daily. Of course, idle background chatter and time spent parked in front of the TV don't count. In fact, TV time may actually be harmful.To help develop your baby's comprehension, he must hear words and language used interactively.

At 9 months, a baby begins to understand the word "no," though he may not obey just yet. However, he will respond to his name by looking around or by stopping what's he's doing to see who called. Reinforce his recognition by saying his name frequently.

Is my baby developing normally?
Remember, each baby is unique and meets physical milestones at his own pace. These skills are simply a guide to what your baby has the potential to accomplish — if not right now, then shortly.If your baby was born prematurely, you'll probably find that it will take him just a bit longer to do the same things as other children his age. Don't worry. Most doctors assess a preterm child's development from the time he should have been born and evaluate his skills accordingly.

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8 Month Old's Development

Sitting, crawling, and standing
Now that he's 8 months old, your baby is probably sitting well without support. He may also be crawling or moving about by bottom shuffling — scooting around on his posterior using a hand behind him and a foot in front of him to propel himself. While holding on to furniture, he may pull himself up to a standing position. In fact, if you stand your baby next to the sofa, he may be able to hold himself up, hanging on for dear life. At this stage some parents put their children in baby walkers, but that's not a good idea. Walkers are unsafe. Your child can use a walker as a stepladder to reach things he couldn't normally get to, such as a hot stove or bottle of bleach. What's more, they discourage the kind of floor play that's best for your child's development.

Your baby's newfound mobility means that he's now entering the land of bumps and falls. These are an inevitable part of childhood, and although your heart may occasionally skip a beat or two, try to enjoy watching your baby explore his surroundings and discover his limits. Restraining your innate desire to protect your child allows him to grow and learn for himself. However, do make every effort to make your home safe for your child. Secure fragile objects (so they won't topple), for example, and keep rickety furniture in rooms that don't get much baby traffic.

Using his hands
Your baby may start looking for dropped objects and use his index finger to point at them. He can easily use his fingers to rake up a piece of food and hold it with his fist closed, and he's learned to open his hand and fingers to drop and throw objects. He's probably beginning to master the pincer grasp, too: the delicate maneuver that lets him pick up small objects with his thumb and first and second fingers.

Getting more emotional
By now your baby's emotions are becoming more obvious. He may perform tricks, such as throwing a kiss to familiar people, and may repeat his act if applauded. Over the next few months, your child may learn to assess and imitate moods and might show the first stirrings of empathy. For instance, if he sees someone crying, he may start crying, too.

Dealing with separation
Most babies this age have already begun to show signs of separation anxiety. Your baby may start to be shy or anxious around strangers, especially when tired or cranky. And when you're out of sight and not with him, he might become upset. Although it's hard to see your baby distressed, it's important to let him experience your comings and goings.

When you leave your baby and return, proving that you always come back, you're helping him develop trust and the ability to form attachments to other people.When you leave your baby, kiss and hug him and tell him you'll be back. If he's frightened or just falls apart, take the extra time to calm and reassure him. It's hard not to cry when he starts crying, but your breaking down only prolongs the agony. It may help to have someone else he's familiar with (not a new babysitter) there to calm him. If your baby gets anxious about nighttime separations, spend some extra cuddle time reading, snuggling, and softly singing together with him before you put him to bed.

Some babies are better at separations than others — it depends on their temperament. Every child is different, as is the amount of reassurance each needs. If you know your baby needs more calming, don't feel bad about giving it or worry that you're just drawing out the process: You know your child better than anyone else, so follow your instincts.

Exploring objects
Most babies now explore objects by shaking them, banging them, dropping them, and throwing them before falling back on the tried-and-true method of gumming them. The idea that you do something to an object is beginning to emerge, so an activity center with lots of things your baby can bang, poke, twist, squeeze, shake, drop, and open will fascinate him. At this stage, babies like to see things fall down, get picked up (by you, of course), and then get thrown down again. Your baby isn't trying to goad you with this cycle; he just finds the spectacle interesting and naturally wants to see it again and again.

Your baby now understands how objects relate to one another, too. For example, he realizes that smaller things fit inside bigger ones. He'll also easily find something you hide. And over the next few months, he'll start to use objects for their intended functions — brushing his hair, drinking from a cup, and babbling on his play phone. Watch for him to start pointing or looking at the correct picture when you name an object, too, — especially if it's something familiar (such as eyes, nose, or mouth) or beloved (like a dog or a rubber ducky).

Improving vision
Your baby's vision — previously about 20/40 at best — is now almost adult-like in its clarity and depth perception. Though his short-range sight is still best, his long-range vision is good enough to recognize people and objects across a room.

Is my baby developing normally?
Remember, each baby is unique and meets physical milestones at his own pace. These skills are simply a guide to what your baby has the potential to accomplish — if not right now, then shortly.

7 Month Old's Development

Bouncing baby
Your baby can now support some of his weight on his legs, and he loves to bounce. What's more, he's probably able to sit unsupported (which frees his hands for exploring) and pivot to reach a desired object. He may even be able to get into a sitting position from lying on his stomach by pushing up on his arms.

Handy skills
Your baby's fine motor skills are coming along, too. By now he can probably scoop things up with just one little paw and transfer them from one hand to the other fairly easily. He may also be able to clasp his hands together and sip from a two-handled cup (with your assistance). Before long, you'll probably notice the noise level increasing, not only because of your baby's babble but also because he'll find out how much fun it is to bang objects together.

To encourage fine motor activity, place a toy just out of your baby's reach and watch him try to get it. If he cries because he can't quite reach it, keep giving him relaxed encouragement — but not the toy. He's just venting frustration and will become more physically confident more quickly if you don't make everything easy for him. After a few tries, he'll be able to lean forward to grab the toy and then straighten himself again. Before long he'll be rocking back and forth on his hands and knees, or maybe creeping or even repeatedly rolling over to move about the room. Aid his mobility by dressing him in loose, comfortable clothes.

Teething
Though teething can start as early as 3 months or as late as 12 months, most babies sprout their first white caps (usually the lower central incisors) right about now. Don't be alarmed if your baby has gaps between some of his pearly whites. Teeth often come through the gums at odd angles, and any spaces commonly disappear after all 20 baby teeth have broken through. Once your baby starts teething, you can expect more drooling and experimenting with sounds as he adjusts to having these strange new things in his mouth.

Testing, testing
By now, you may have already told your baby that the telephone is not a toy, or that rattles are not for throwing, or that his sister's hair is not for pulling. The fact is, at this age your baby may begin testing your authority by refusing to follow your directions or entreaties. He's not really being disobedient or willful — he's just curious. Keep in mind that he also simply can't remember things for more than a couple of seconds at a time. The best tactic is to use a simple no, then distract him.

The beginnings of separation anxiety
If your baby is anxious when he's away from you during the day, his concern will be compounded at bedtime. When he wakes up at night, even for a moment, he'll know you're nearby and will be vocal about trying to get your attention. You'll feel torn between the strong urge to scoop him up and take him to bed with you and the voices of those who tell you that to do so is to spoil him. Don't worry: It won't hurt to indulge him occasionally — not always — by bringing him into bed with you. When the separation anxiety disappears, you can teach him to sleep by himself again. Of course, if you've opted for the family bed, you'll always be close at night.

FYI: Your baby's reluctance to be separated from you may delight you or just plain frustrate you at times. In either case, it might help to load a laundry basket with toys and move it — and him — from room to room so you can get chores done while enjoying each other's company.

Recognition skills
Your baby now actively engages in hiding games and can remember that the jack-in-the-box pops up at the end of the song. He's also able to recognize different tones and inflections and may burst into tears if you speak harshly.

Figuring out how objects relate
Your baby's beginning to understand how objects relate to one another in three-dimensional space. He may be able to sort toys, grouping items such as blocks by size. And if he admires his reflection in a window and you suddenly appear behind his image, he's likely to turn and look for you instead of believing that you're in the mirror itself.

A simple game of peek-a-boo might be absolutely fascinating to your baby. That's because he's starting to understand object permanence (that an object he can't see can still exist) and loves games where people or things appear and disappear. In fact, one of the easiest ways to keep a 7-month-old occupied is by hiding an object under a blanket for him to discover.

Stimulating toys and games
Because he likes predictability, your baby enjoys playing the same game over and over. In addition to peek-a-boo (see above), try adding classics such as patty-cake to your repertoire.

At this age, babies also tend to gravitate toward stuffed animals, both big and small. Most likely, one will emerge as the favorite security object and will soon be covered in drool and accompanying you everywhere. When adding new members to your plush family, look for soft, well-stitched stuffed friends. Other good toys include balls, nesting cylinders, pop-up toys, and large dolls.

If your baby has a favorite plaything or two, the expression "as easy as taking candy from a baby" no longer applies. While it used to be easy to remove things from his grasp, you may now find him protesting loudly when you take toys and other things away.

Is my baby developing normally?
Remember, each baby is unique and meets physical milestones at his own pace. These skills are simply a guide to what your baby has the potential to accomplish — if not right now, then shortly.

If your baby was born prematurely, you'll probably find that he needs a bit more time before he can do the same things as other children his age. Don't worry. Most doctors assess a preterm child's development from the time he should have been born and evaluate his skills accordingly.

6 Month Old's Development

Exploring with his hands
By the time he's about 6 months old (though sometimes it takes a little longer), your baby's hand control is developed enough that he can rake an object toward him. Once he's learned to grab a toy, he'll start to practice moving objects from one hand to the other. He may also discover that letting go of something is as much fun as picking it up. Once he understands the concept of cause and effect, your baby's world will become more interesting — and yours a good deal messier.

Is he a lefty or a righty?
At this stage, most babies seem to favor one hand for a while and then switch to the other. But you can't really tell whether your child is a lefty or a righty until he's about 2 or 3.

Learning to roll over
Most babies this age have learned to roll over in each direction, a milestone that will probably awe and amuse you. Of course, while rolling over is fun for your baby, it can also be nerve-wracking for you. Keep a hand on your baby during diaper changes, and never leave him unattended on a bed or any other elevated surface.

Your little social animal
At this age babies not only tolerate attention from others, they often initiate it. Though you may soon notice the beginnings of stranger anxiety, 6-month-olds are still fairly indiscriminate: Anyone who approaches your baby with raised eyebrows or a grin delights him and becomes an instant friend. But don't worry — he still needs and craves lots of TLC and attention from you.

Your baby is also learning that his behaviors, both the ones you like and the ones you don't, engage you, so starting now (and for years to come) your child will do just about anything to get your attention. Right now almost everything he does is endearing, but as he gets older, he's more likely to get into mischief to provoke a reaction from you. Just don't forget to lavish attention on him when he meets with your approval.

One thing will become clear: Your baby is beginning to vary his attention-getting repertoire beyond crying. So expect him to work hard to get you to notice him by wriggling, making noises, and so on. Over the next three months, he'll develop a uniquely personal way of letting you know what he thinks, wants, and needs.

Playing turn-taking games
Six-month-olds love turn-taking games, especially ones that involve sounds and language. Let your baby be the leader sometimes, and mimic his vocalizations. When it's your turn to lead, a good way to teach — and amuse — your child is to make animal noises ("quack-quack," "bow-wow").

Your baby the babbler
By 6 months your baby sees and hears the world almost as well as you do. His communication skills are expanding rapidly, too, as evidenced by his squeals, bubbling sounds, operatic octave changes, and babbling. At this age, about half of all babies babble, repeating one syllable — such as "ba," "ma," "ga," or other consonant-vowel combinations — over and over. A few will even add another syllable or two, making their sounds more complex. You can encourage your baby by babbling right back at him and by making a game of it ("The sheep says, 'baaa,'" or "The goat says, 'maaa'"). He'll also appreciate it if you listen as if you understand everything he says and find it extremely interesting. Your baby can now recognize different tones and inflections and may fall apart if you speak to him harshly.

One sure-fire way to delight your baby is to blow bubbles with a straw in a cup. Both the sound and sight will make him laugh.

Stimulating his senses
Your baby uses all of his senses to explore and learn about his world. Make sure he has lots of safe things around to touch, mouth, and manipulate. He'll delight in squishing a soft rubber ball, patting a piece of fake fur, gnawing a chilled teething ring, and hearing a bell sound inside a stuffed animal.

Getting a kick out of story hour
The American Academy of Pediatrics recommends reading aloud to your child daily starting this month, as it's about now that he'll really begin to enjoy looking at books with you. No matter what your child's age, of course, reading provides an opportunity for cuddling and socializing that both you and your baby can appreciate. You'll also improve his language skills and prime him for a lifetime love of reading.

Is my baby developing normally?
Remember, each baby is unique and meets physical milestones at his own pace. These skills are simply a guide to what your baby has the potential to accomplish — if not right now, then shortly.

5 Month Old's Development

Sitting pretty
By now, your baby's physical developments are coming fast and furiously. When lying on his back, he'll lift his head and shoulders. If you place him on his stomach, he'll extend his arms and legs and arch his back. This is good exercise for strengthening his neck muscles, and it will help him develop the head control necessary for sitting up. Once he can sit, stay nearby for support, even if you provide pillows to cushion a possible fall. Support him under his arms and he'll bounce up and down as he stands on your thighs. He's likely to explore everything he picks up with his mouth, so be sure it's too big for him to swallow or choke on.

Ba ba ba ba ba ba . . .
Your baby is adding new sounds to his language repertoire, and his current favorites are probably full of bubbles. At this age, it's common for babies to become so enthralled by one of their newfound abilities that they get stuck on it for a while. This is a normal developmental process; most babies master one skill before moving to the next. Hearing the same sound over and over can get annoying, but learning patience now will prepare you for the endless string of "nos" and "whys" you'll be hearing from your toddler.

Strong enough to feed himself
Though he may be able to hold his own bottle now, never prop the bottle for him. Continue using mealtime to cuddle, hold, and nurture your baby — he'll be fiercely independent and resisting your kisses and snuggles soon enough.

At the same time, your baby's probably showing more signs that he's ready for solids — from a lessened tongue-thrust reflex to a keener interest in the foods you and other people are eating. Use family mealtime to socialize with him. He'll enjoy watching you eat, and he may even eat more himself as a result. In another month or so he'll be better able to sit up by himself and grasp small objects, too, adding to his dinner table skills.

Cause and effect
Your baby's ability to interact with you, others, and his surroundings is growing daily. At this stage, he may start playing little games as he begins to understand that simple actions have results. He may drop objects just to watch you pick them up or to see how and where they fall. Tiring as it sounds, you'd better get used to it. In a few weeks, this will be accompanied by fits of giggles.

More discerning
Your baby's getting better at spotting very small objects and tracking moving things. At this point, he may be able to recognize an object after seeing only part of it — the basis of little hide-and-seek games you'll be playing in the coming months. Earlier your baby learned to distinguish between similar bold colors. Now he's beginning to sort out subtle differences in pastels.

Honing in on sounds
Your baby now realizes where sounds come from, and he'll turn quickly toward a new one. One of the easiest ways to engage him is to jingle a set of keys. Wind chimes are great attention-getters, too. Your baby may watch your mouth intently when you speak now and try to imitate inflections and utter consonant sounds such as "m" and "b." Many 5-month-olds can recognize their own name; you may notice that your little one turns his head when you call him or talk about him with others.

Driven to distraction
When your baby starts fussing at the supermarket this month, you may be able to distract him for a short time. Try engaging him with funny faces or a round of "The Itsy-Bitsy Spider." Clapping your hands or giving him something to hold and mouth might work, too.

A growing range of emotions
Babies can't express their emotions in the same complex way that adults do. Although they do let you know when they're angry, bored, or happy, they can't express love or humor in the first few months. But that's beginning to change. By 5 months your baby shows a strong attachment to you by raising his arms when he wants to be picked up and by crying when you leave the room. He may also give you hugs and kisses. And he's beginning to get the joke — he'll laugh at funny expressions or positions and try to make you laugh, too.

For many parents, this is when the fun begins. Go ahead and make those goofy faces and nonsense sounds, and play at pantomime and mimicry.

4 Month Old's Development

Eating less frequently
Your baby has a bigger tummy now that he's 4 months old, so he won't need to refuel as often. Four or five times a day will often do it, in fact, unless he's exclusively breastfed (in which case he'll still want to eat six to eight times a day). He may have doubled his birth weight by now, and he's still gaining, of course, despite his more mature eating schedule. Don't expect maturity in his eating habits though — he's easily distracted now, and feedings can become frustrating as he stops to watch a sibling or respond to an outside noise. You might try to minimize distractions by feeding him in a quiet, darkened room, for example.

A new talent for rolling over
When placed on his stomach, your baby will lift his head and shoulders high, using his arms for support. This mini push-up helps him strengthen his muscles and get a better view of what's going on. He may even amaze you (and himself!) by rolling over from his back to his front, or vice versa. You can encourage this through play: Wiggle a toy next to the side he customarily rolls to in case he's interested enough to try again. Applaud his efforts and smile; he may need your reassurance since new actions can be frightening. Of course, you'll also need to keep a hand on your baby during diaper changes. Never leave him unattended on a bed or any other elevated surface now that he can get around.

Time for solid foods?
For the first four to six months of life your baby gets all the nutrients he needs from breast milk or formula. Still, parents are often eager to start their babies on solid foods. It's true that your baby's digestive tract is more developed and his tongue-thrust reflex is starting to fade at this point, so it seems a logical time to start feeding him some solids, like pureed baby food or cereal. But there are good reasons to wait, too. Starting solids later may cut down on possible allergic reactions, for example, and ensures that breast milk or formula won't get crowded out of your baby's diet. And if you're hoping that eating solids will help your baby sleep through the night, studies have shown that you can't count on that helping. If you're unsure about when to introduce solids, talk to your child's doctor.

Reaching out and mouthing objects
Your baby is now able to reach out and grab an object, even though he often misses the mark on the first try. Once he wraps his hands around something, he'll study it for a moment and then try to put it in his mouth, so be sure that whatever you give him is too big to fit all the way in. You may also notice more drooling now. Some babies can start teething as early as 4 months, but the first tooth usually doesn't surface until 5 to 6 months.

Encourage your baby to explore and play with a variety of objects. Something as simple as a clean cloth diaper might occupy him for a few minutes. Watch him suck on it, hold it, and discover what happens when he scrunches it up. Give him a light rattle and watch him delight in the sound it makes when he shakes it. An activity center or crib gym is a good choice for this stage, as your baby begins to discover the cause and effect of moving a lever and hearing a bell ring, for instance.

Playing solo
By now, your baby can play with his hands and feet for a few minutes at a time. A miracle! Suddenly you realize it's strangely quiet in the bedroom and look in, only to discover that your baby, who so far has needed your attention for most of every waking moment, is amusing himself. Maybe you can start reading the paper again — well, maybe just the headlines.

Beginning to understand the role of language
Researchers believe that by 4 months your baby understands all the basic sounds that make up his native language. Between 4 and 6 months, he develops the ability to make some vocal sounds, such as "ma-ma" or "da-da," though he doesn't yet connect that sound with a parent. You can promote your child's sense of communication by mirroring, or imitating, his faces and sounds. Say "boo," and he'll try to say it back. Because you react when he makes noises and tries to say something, your baby learns the importance of language and starts to understand cause and effect. He'll begin to realize that what he says makes a difference.

Appreciation for a full range of colors
Babies see color from birth, but they have difficulty distinguishing similar tones, such as red and orange. As a result, they often prefer black and white or high-contrast colors. Between your baby's second and fourth months, color differences become clearer, and he'll start to distinguish similar shades. He'll probably begin to show a preference for bright primary colors now, too. Some great eye-catchers include primary-colored mobiles (hung out of his reach), bright posters, and visually striking board books.

Getting more selective about people
By 4 months, your baby may respond to your presence, your voice, and even your facial expressions by kicking and waving his arms. About now, your child (who to this point probably bestowed smiles on everyone he met) is beginning to be picky about the company he keeps. In large groups or with unfamiliar people he may need time to get comfortable. Allow for transition time with strangers or when leaving your baby with a sitter. When he's safely in your arms, though, he's likely to be interested in interacting with other people — especially noisy, boisterous older children.

3 Month Old's Development

Steady now
This month, your baby may be able to lift his head and hold it for several moments, or even longer, while lying on his back. If sitting with support, he should be able to hold his head steady and erect. When he's on his stomach, you might see him lifting his head and chest as if he were doing mini-pushups. You can offer encouragement by sitting in front of him and dangling a toy.

Better arm, leg, and hand coordination
Your baby can now wave his arms and pump his legs. And as his hip and knee joints become more flexible, his kicks are getting stronger. Hold him upright with his feet on the floor and feel him push down. He can also bring both hands together and open his fingers, though he'll probably use a closed fist to bat at dangling objects. (Of course, swatting at a toy or other object is developmental progress in itself!) Encourage his eye-hand coordination by holding out a toy to see if he'll grasp it.

To sleep, perchance
At last, your baby's sleep patterns may start to settle down, giving you some rest. Many 3- to 4-month olds sleep for a six-hour stretch through the night, though others still wake for an occasional feeding. Some even take until their half birthday or later to sleep through, so don't get your hopes up yet!

Clear recognition of Mom and Dad
By 3 months, and probably earlier, your baby knows your face and has formed an attachment to you. Most likely he'll still smile at strangers, especially when they look him straight in the eye and coo or talk to him. But he's beginning to sort out who's who in his life, and he definitely prefers some people over others.

Your baby's parietal lobe, the part of the brain that governs his hand-eye coordination and allows him to recognize objects, is developing rapidly now. And his temporal lobe, which assists with hearing, language, and smell, has also become more receptive and active. So when your baby hears your voice these days, he may look directly at you and start gurgling or trying to talk back.

Reading 101
Reading to your child, even at this young age, will pay off. Hearing you read helps your baby develop an ear for the cadence of language. In fact, varying the pitch of your voice, using accents, singing, and vocalizing make the aural connection between you and your baby that much more stimulating. But don't worry if he looks the other way or loses concentration while you're reading. Just trying something else, or give him time to rest. Take your cue from his responses and interest.

There are plenty of good books to read to your baby — such as Goodnight Moon, The Baby's Bedtime Book, and Fuzzy Yellow Duckling. Choose board books with large, bright pictures and simple text — or even wordless books, such as Picnic or The Bear and the Fly, with pictures for you to narrate.

At this point you needn't be slavish to age guidelines. Books designed for older children can captivate a baby if they have clear, crisp images and bright colors. Or you can even read poetry written for adult ears — Samuel Coleridge's Kubla Khan, for instance. What your baby doesn't understand will still delight him (and you) with its musicality.

Early language development
Recent research links higher intelligence to how many words a child hears in the first year of life, so verbal stimulation is especially important right now. Set a sound foundation by exposing your baby to a variety of words and sounds. Talk about your surroundings when you take him for a walk, and point to and identify objects as you roam the grocery store aisles. Your baby can't repeat these words yet, but he's storing all the information in his rapidly developing memory.

If your home is bilingual, your baby will benefit from hearing both languages spoken regularly. If you'd like him to learn more than one language, try to repeat each phrase in both languages, or have each parent speak to him in a different language.

Touchy feely
Stimulate your baby's sense of touch with a variety of materials — such as fur, tissue, felt, and terrycloth. And look for books, like Pat the Bunny, that make touching a part of the reading experience. Touch — the feel of a gentle breeze or a massage, being carried on your hip, or kissed on the nose — is a powerful way to relax or engage your baby. Iit may even increase his altertness and attention span.

Beginning to interact with others
Your child is set on "receive," drawing conclusions about the world around him. By now, he may respond to his face in the mirror by smiling (babies love looking at themselves), and he may stop sucking his thumb or bottle to listen to your voice. By cooing or making noises at him, and by describing even the most mundane household chore, you're not only connecting with him but also encouraging him to express himself. Even with others, your baby is becoming more animated and engaging — flashing smiles, oohing, and cooing. The fun has really begun. When you're with friends, keep your baby nearby so he can hear the richness of human interaction.

Your 13 month old's social and emotional development: Me first!

New this month: Me first!

Do you feel as if your whole world still revolves around your baby? So does he! In fact, for much of his second year, your toddler will be self-absorbed. Sharing toys, snacks, and especially your attention may be very difficult. Watch him playing alongside another child, and you'll probably notice that he isn't very interested in actually interacting with her.

You're still the most important person in your 13-month-old's life, and he's likely to demand a lot of your attention. But you'll start to see glimpses of his growing independence and confidence. As long as he can keep an eye on you, he may entertain himself in the family room for several minutes while you prepare dinner, interrupt you for a quick reassuring cuddle, and then venture out on his own again.

At 13 months, children start to recognize that they have power, and they're learning how to use it. Your toddler may demand that you read to him, push him on a swing, take him for a walk. Even if he doesn't use words, he can make clear, by tugging on you and pointing, exactly what he wants.

What you can do
Whether he's already a social butterfly or a little on the shy side, you can help your child develop social skills with these fun activities:

Hide and seek. Chasing you and hiding from you are probably among your 13-month-old's favorite activities. He'll be happy hiding behind a chair, a book, or even a dishtowel, and giggling endlessly as you pretend you can't find him.

Fetch. Your 13-month-old will adore this one, though you may find it less than entertaining. Throwing toys out of his crib or playpen or food off his highchair and watching you retrieve the objects and hand them back to him is big-time fun. He may also enjoy handing you toys, books, and other objects, expecting that you will hand them back. This kind of give, take, and give again is actually a social game, a way of keeping your attention. You may also notice that he loves an audience, and will repeat any "performance" that elicits a positive response, especially applause.

The "face-naming" game. Point to your eyes, nose, etc., and name them, and he'll soon get the hang of it. Ask him where your mouth is and soon enough he'll put his fingers right in it. Psychologists think this may be a precursor to the separation process (when your toddler figures out that you and he are separate people) that begins during the second year.

Other developments: Stranger anxiety and more fears
At around 13 months, many toddlers develop stranger anxiety. Yours may become upset when you leave him, even with friends or family members he sees often. A toddler who cries or whimpers, trembles, hides, or tries to run away from "strangers" is simply demonstrating that he can distinguish the difference between people he knows well — his parents and caregivers — and those he doesn't.

Even toddlers who are at ease with unfamiliar people will encounter situations that overwhelm them. A 13-month-old has a budding imagination, and things that never seemed to bother him before, such as the vacuum cleaner, bathtime, or a neighbor's pet, may suddenly be very scary.

What you can do
Remember that trust cannot be forced, so if your child is especially anxious around new faces, be patient and let him keep his distance until he's ready to interact. He'll look to you for guidance, so if you seem at ease around a new babysitter, for instance, he'll take that cue. It may help him become more comfortable around new people if you include him on excursions to the grocery store, or other places where he can watch how you behave around people you don't know.

Here are a few ways to soothe him when he's frightened of other things:

Loud noises. If the sound of the vacuum cleaner or lawn mower sends your child into a frenzy, let him touch the object (when it's not plugged in or turned on, of course). If sirens bother him, take a walk past your local firehouse so he can see the trucks and ambulances parked quietly. If he's curious about certain objects, let him explore them (if it's safe) and that will help calm his fears. Never force him into an encounter, though, since that will only feed his uneasiness.

The bathtub. Going down the drain, soap in the eyes, slipping — there's plenty for a toddler to fear at bathtime. If your toddler starts to resist getting into the tub, even if he used to enjoy the ritual, try giving him a sponge bath for a few days. Allow him to sit in the tub with no water, and use a washcloth rather than a cup of water to rinse his hair. You might even skip the shampoo for a few days until his anxiety eases. After a few days you can leave the water running and the drain open so the water doesn't accumulate too much, and then gradually ease up to a full-fledged bath again. If he fears the drain, demonstrate how his bath toys can't fit down the drain and so neither can he.

Animals. Even children who have pets at home are often frightened by other animals. Imagine how you'd feel if you came face-to-face with a 7-foot-tall bear; the neighbor's golden retriever seems just as menacing to your 13-month-old. Never force your child to pet an animal. Instead, do some role-playing with stuffed animals, or read books that feature animals like the ones he's afraid of. And it's very important to teach children to never pet any animal unless they ask the pet's owner first. Even the friendliest dog or cat can bite or scratch when provoked.

• See all our articles on toddler development.