How to dine out with kids ... and enjoy it!
After years of dining out regularly and living the swell life on the bon vivant circuit, many parents of young children find themselves rooted at home, eating whatever is in the refrigerator. It's easy to see why parents shun restaurants and prefer to eat at home, where thrown food will only hit members of the immediate family. But if you never eat out with your child, what starts as a disinclination can eventually mushroom into a fear or even a phobia. If you have a 2- to 4-year-old and you're still uneasy about dining out, it's time to confront your demons. These suggestions will help:
Before you go
Pack a bag of tricks. Bring a variety of reliable amusements, including favorite books, games, and toys. If you know you'll need to fill an hour, overestimate and bring two hours' worth of goodies. If your child is especially energetic and restless, pack a couple of new toys that will keep his interest (at least until the food arrives). It's also a good idea to throw in a few favorite snacks, in case the food is slow to arrive or not to your child's liking (just because he loves the mac 'n' cheese at home doesn't mean he'll eat the restaurant version).
Pick the right restaurant. Choose a child-friendly restaurant, preferably one that is casual and loud enough to absorb any noise your family may make. Make a reservation if possible. If you're new to eating out with kids, consider working your way gradually up the food chain by practicing good behavior in a basic burger joint, where manners matter less to those around you.
Set some ground rules, and enforce them at home. Young children are creatures of habit. If you establish realistic, age-appropriate guidelines at home, you're more likely to see your child following the rules when dining out.
Treat eating out as a reward. To motivate your child to maintain some decorum in public, make eating out a special event where good behavior is not only expected but required.
Once you're there
Order kid-friendly food. This is not the time to spring something new on your child. Stick with recognizable favorites — burgers, spaghetti, macaroni and cheese. Order from the kids' menu, if there is one, or go with finger foods, like fries and chicken nuggets, that your child can dip into an assortment of accompaniments for added amusement.
Don't dawdle. Ask your waiter if the kitchen can prepare your child's dish quickly, or at least have him bring some bread or crackers your child can munch on while he waits for his meal. And order the appetizer the minute you are seated, so it will arrive well in advance of the meal.
Reserve certain special foods or drinks for restaurants. Consider allowing your child to have something that's normally forbidden at home — soda, for example. The treat will not only occupy his attention but will reinforce the idea that going out is a special privilege.
Heading off behavior blowups
Have realistic expectations. Concede that eating out with a young child will never be like eating out with adults. Patty Tomashefsky, of Foresthill, California, who eats out fairly regularly with her husband and young sons, has different expectations and rules for each child. "While Drew, age 2, may sit for a while, we usually let him stroll, with adult accompaniment, until the food arrives. Then he's totally engaged. Anthony, age 4, will pretty much stay at the table if he's got crayons or toys to play with," says Tomashefsky. It's not realistic to expect a 2-year-old to sit still, conversing quietly, for an hour. Instead, think of the meal as an opportunity to be engaged with your children. This can mean playing games, talking, reading, and, most likely, at least a little walking around. It's reasonable to expect a preschooler to be fairly well behaved (in other words, not running around and screaming) if he's entertained.
Choose your battles carefully. A restaurant is not the place to get into an unnecessary confrontation with your child. Aspire to good basic behavior and reasonable manners, but let minor transgressions go rather than getting into a battle of wills that could spoil the whole evening. Tomashefsky and her husband don't try to hold their young kids to impossibly high standards of dining etiquette: "We really focus on the basics — keeping them reasonably quiet and not disturbing other people."
Share the load. To make things go smoothly, both parents should be involved in meal management. If your child demands constant attention, take turns with your partner so one of you can eat while the other attends to your child.
Persevere. Even if you have a meal that ends with a bunch of overstuffed, untouched doggie bags, try again. Remember that as young children practice appropriate behavior, it becomes almost second nature, and your first few challenging meals will eventually yield a wonderful reward: children you can take anywhere with confidence.
Before you go
Pack a bag of tricks. Bring a variety of reliable amusements, including favorite books, games, and toys. If you know you'll need to fill an hour, overestimate and bring two hours' worth of goodies. If your child is especially energetic and restless, pack a couple of new toys that will keep his interest (at least until the food arrives). It's also a good idea to throw in a few favorite snacks, in case the food is slow to arrive or not to your child's liking (just because he loves the mac 'n' cheese at home doesn't mean he'll eat the restaurant version).
Pick the right restaurant. Choose a child-friendly restaurant, preferably one that is casual and loud enough to absorb any noise your family may make. Make a reservation if possible. If you're new to eating out with kids, consider working your way gradually up the food chain by practicing good behavior in a basic burger joint, where manners matter less to those around you.
Set some ground rules, and enforce them at home. Young children are creatures of habit. If you establish realistic, age-appropriate guidelines at home, you're more likely to see your child following the rules when dining out.
Treat eating out as a reward. To motivate your child to maintain some decorum in public, make eating out a special event where good behavior is not only expected but required.
Once you're there
Order kid-friendly food. This is not the time to spring something new on your child. Stick with recognizable favorites — burgers, spaghetti, macaroni and cheese. Order from the kids' menu, if there is one, or go with finger foods, like fries and chicken nuggets, that your child can dip into an assortment of accompaniments for added amusement.
Don't dawdle. Ask your waiter if the kitchen can prepare your child's dish quickly, or at least have him bring some bread or crackers your child can munch on while he waits for his meal. And order the appetizer the minute you are seated, so it will arrive well in advance of the meal.
Reserve certain special foods or drinks for restaurants. Consider allowing your child to have something that's normally forbidden at home — soda, for example. The treat will not only occupy his attention but will reinforce the idea that going out is a special privilege.
Heading off behavior blowups
Have realistic expectations. Concede that eating out with a young child will never be like eating out with adults. Patty Tomashefsky, of Foresthill, California, who eats out fairly regularly with her husband and young sons, has different expectations and rules for each child. "While Drew, age 2, may sit for a while, we usually let him stroll, with adult accompaniment, until the food arrives. Then he's totally engaged. Anthony, age 4, will pretty much stay at the table if he's got crayons or toys to play with," says Tomashefsky. It's not realistic to expect a 2-year-old to sit still, conversing quietly, for an hour. Instead, think of the meal as an opportunity to be engaged with your children. This can mean playing games, talking, reading, and, most likely, at least a little walking around. It's reasonable to expect a preschooler to be fairly well behaved (in other words, not running around and screaming) if he's entertained.
Choose your battles carefully. A restaurant is not the place to get into an unnecessary confrontation with your child. Aspire to good basic behavior and reasonable manners, but let minor transgressions go rather than getting into a battle of wills that could spoil the whole evening. Tomashefsky and her husband don't try to hold their young kids to impossibly high standards of dining etiquette: "We really focus on the basics — keeping them reasonably quiet and not disturbing other people."
Share the load. To make things go smoothly, both parents should be involved in meal management. If your child demands constant attention, take turns with your partner so one of you can eat while the other attends to your child.
Persevere. Even if you have a meal that ends with a bunch of overstuffed, untouched doggie bags, try again. Remember that as young children practice appropriate behavior, it becomes almost second nature, and your first few challenging meals will eventually yield a wonderful reward: children you can take anywhere with confidence.
posted by Aura at 10:32 AM
<< Home